Introducing myself, Mr. R. Natsah Kindi

From an early age I was intensely curious of all manner of natural and unnatural phenomena. I had already embarked on an extensive apprehension of both Geometry and Physics in before realising that departure from my village was imperative. Although I had attained a respectable level in both these subjects, I saw clearly one day (a saturday, I believe) that true knowledge -- and larger libraries --- were elsewhere. After a journey of several days over land and across the sea, I arrived in the cathedral city of Durham, England. Do you know this town? It is a city which exists almost completely below ground, although it seems at first that this is not the case. It was in this town, during the furtherance of my studies, that i first became interested in what i later learned (and knew to be) 'Cataphonic Phenomena. ' This town, whilst thought by some as being picturesque, is in fact the product of a deadly confluence of geography, geology and ecclesiastical architecture. The direct pressure of the great ancient bulk of the city's norman cathedral on the bedrock of the town produces most unsettling waves and vibrations which I later realised were responsible for many strange effects I had observed in the comportoment of the local inhabitants. Frequently, this only became apparent after the fall of night (or as the air became increasingly opaque, as a certain Irish Philosopher reminds us), although sometimes peculiar phenomena could be observed even at God's own noon. I realised that the extensive undeground network of tunnels which permeated the town were responsible for the collimation of these rays, which otherwise would be harmless to all but the smallest mammals, and this effect, this focussing, I became convinced warranted further study. In the back garden of my lodging house I was fortunate enough to find a deep well, and by carefully studying the appropriate texts, i formulated a plan of diligent observations to by carried out over a period of one calendar month, in the hope of elucidating the nature, origin and (most importantly) frequency of the waves which so afflicted the town's gentle residents. The results of this investigation I will detail tomorrow, or after tomorrow, if my work permits.